I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
