do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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