Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
