time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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