Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
