If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
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So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
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I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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