I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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