This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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