I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
