This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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