One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
