i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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