i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
