This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
