If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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