I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
