I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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