My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
