24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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