o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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