Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize