she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
