its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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