I think scott just propositioned me for sex
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
