Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
