I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
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Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
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I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize