No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
