all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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