Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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