Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
