spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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