This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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