I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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