On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
