I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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