she looked like the before picture.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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