i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Damn victory sex feels great
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
