The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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