there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
