People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
God, I missed his penis.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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