i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
he quoted the bible to break up with me
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
