Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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