You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
There r osticjed everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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