Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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