? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
