is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
