I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
