She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
