No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
