Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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