I am puke
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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