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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.