Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
No idea. I blame fireball.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.