Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
