VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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