Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
