dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
