I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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