Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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