i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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